Red Pandas

This feels like an optimal moment to remind everybody about how awesome and adorable red pandas are.

Arguably the derpiest creatures in the animal kingdom, red pandas spend the majority of their time in random mischief and bumping their faces into walls and other solid objects. They dislike the inherent ‘red panda unfriendliness’ of doors, as they can never seem to open the damn things. And it is a common goal of red pandas to climb at least one human per day, especially humans with snacks.

Their voices are unexpectedly high pitched, and they engage in regular gymnastic routines when bored, as is evidenced at approximately 1:34 in the above video.

Pumpkins are the arch rivals of the red panda. Their primary attack against said rivals is a face smash, where they smash their face into the pumpkin as many times as possible to wear down the pumpkin’s defenses. In moments where smashes fail, they attack with affectionate hugs.

On occasion, red pandas reach moments of epiphany, and begin to believe that they are actually humans. In these moments of epiphany the red pandas regularly begin to philosophize on existentialism and ponder the various mathematical moral dilemmas presented by game theory. These bouts of human thought and activity carry on for sprints of about five seconds, and in these moments they even try to walk upright, but they inevitably fall flat on their sides once reality brings them back to the fact that they are, indeed, red pandas.

It is known that red pandas have a deep fascination with hats. Though the moral code of the red panda community regularly advocates ‘do not steal,’ red pandas have great difficulty obeying this simple commandment when within a paw’s reach of a nice, grey baseball cap. This fact also holds true when red pandas are in the vicinity of trays of food, they can’t keep away.

I’m launching a petition online for us to re-populate the nearest earthlike planet with red pandas. A vessel containing red panda fetuses will spend many a millennia floating through the cosmos until they land at their destination. The planet will be terraformed and subsequently re-populated exclusively with red pandas, along with some nice plants. There will be robots with cameras on the vessel as well, and videos of the red pandas on their newfound planet will be sent back to Earth for the enjoyment of future generations. This petition can be signed by hitting the follow button on my blog. Likes also count as signatures, and there are several posts on my blog now, so feel free to sign as many times as you want for a world run by red pandas.

All joking aside, red pandas are some of the most magnificent animals in the world in my eyes, and they never fail to brighten my day. Hopefully they can brighten yours as well! 🙂

And in response to the probable question in your head, yes my blogs posts can be deeply random.

116 thoughts on “Red Pandas

    • For a surprisingly long time European scientists thought red pandas were the only kind of pandas there were, and that these Chinese stories of giant black-and-white pandas was some kind of mythological extrapolation from the red kind!

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s honestly so. Of course, red pandas are, while not common, still a lot more common than giant pandas, so it’s easy to see why a couple Westerners tromping around might not see any even for years, and think that the giants belonged in the same class as Chinese lions or, for that matter, dragons.

        Liked by 1 person

      • True I guess it’s not so ridiculous now that I think about it haha very funny in retrospect though! Giant pandas are unique looking creatures as well, I can see why people would think they were just fairy tales when people described them to others!

        Like

    • They are awesome! They’re so funny they do the most ridiculous things, if you get the chance to check out some videos they’re especially funny as babies they just bump their faces into everything haha happy to know you enjoyed the post! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • That’s awesome that you’ve seen them in person, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never witnessed their funny behavior first hand, they just seem like such social/quirky animals I really wish there were some nearby for me to see haha, happy to see you enjoyed the post! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • No problem thanks for welcoming me into your community! I saw that you met the prime minister of New Zealand that’s so awesome! And raw oysters are so delicious I wish I could have some right now haha thanks for stopping by! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • We did get to meet the Prime Minister. Prince Harry is coming to Stewart Island…think we might be pushing it to hope that we might get to meet him? lol

        Oyster as relish…if you’re ever in Bluff you will have to be sure to try the Bluff oyster…it’s amazing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s so cool, I truly need to check out New Zealand I actually have a few cousins out that way haha I would love to try the oysters from Bluff someday! And that’s so awesome that you might see Prince Harry too omG!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • No problem at all very glad that you liked the video and the post! I love red pandas so much they always make me happy when I watch videos of them. I just need to see them in person now, you’re lucky you got to! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Fantastic post!!!! I love red pandas, though hardly ever see them at our local zoo because they seem to dislike Auckland weather and spend their time indoors — possibly liking your blog in an attempt to have their own planet.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So happy you enjoyed!!! Lmao that’s cool they’re at least near to you! They deserve their own planet by virtue of their being the most awesome creatures of all time they just overload me with cuteness I can’t take it!! fdasjkfldsajlfkdsdfjfd 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved this. So glad you shared. The first time I saw a red panda was on a kid’s show. I thought it was a fox! I think it was something about Eco friends or something like that. Sorry I can’t remember exactly. I’m now following you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Oscar,
    Thank you for subscribing to my blog! Here you’ll find more than 3500 pictures from Norway and Norwegian nature, mostly in ‘full screen mode’, and new pictures will be påosted regularly! Please enjoy!
    If I may give you a suggestion? Please open my ‘INDEX’! Here you’ll get a much better ‘lay of the land’, so to speak.
    You may see how many pictures you are about to see, and in the bottom of most any post, you’ll find a link bringing you straight back to the INDEX where you may choose a new post. (Easy!) Welcome to my world!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We’re all entitled to our own individual opinions! I do enjoy giant pandas, but I just really love red pandas for whatever reason haha the baseball to ice hockey comparison is an interesting visual, constant action with hockey and large expanses of dead space with baseball very true, though I enjoy both from time to time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I really enjoyed your post about the RED PANDA and also think that, despite the fact that it may steal now and then small things, it wouldn’t be a real rival to the human being and therefore a real enrichment for the world. Thank you very much.:)

    Liked by 1 person

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